My Loving Valentine To Ugly Torontonians


Those Adorable Covidiot Jokesters Practicing Covidiocy In Public Places … 

Like Trinity-Bellwoods Park – In The Heart Of My Hometown Of Toronto (Canada) – On A Delightful Sunny Saturday Afternoon In May.  Yesterday, For Instance.

“Nice One, Beloved Twits & Twats Of The Fabulous 4-1-6 … Please Don’t Tell Me Homey Drake Was Doing A Free Concert In The Park To Benefit Entitled Imbeciles Of Queen Street West Village?”

We’re Done, My Precious Darlings.  All Estimated 10,000 Of You Ass-Rockets, Dinkophiles, And Enablers Of Urban Fuckerlessness.  And, Me.



Of Snowflakes … Smug, Righteous Deflectors Of Social And Moral Responsibility … 

Unsurprisingly, Dullard, Chowderhead and Dingleberry Insolence Are Yet To Be Proven Elements In Developing The Vaccine Needed To Combat The Spread Of Coronavirus.

If This Is Your Clever Idea Of Protesting Whatever-About-Whatnots … The Pretty Silence You May Hear Is A Mandatory 2-Second Pause Between Slow Claps And A Scissor Kick To Your Flat/Fat Sad Ass:

“Good For Ewe And The Sheepeople You’ve Herded Against The Fence To Share Vapes Of THC Cannabis.  Also, Please Remember To Exhale Before Pluming A Cloud Of Toxicity In My Face …”



First, Check Your Arithmetic, Einstein …  

You’ve Slightly Miscalculated 6 Feet By A Mere 72 Inches.  Not Bad For A First-Timer Who Didn’t Allow Mom To Pay (This One Time) For Doing Your Homework.  Applauso.  I’m Demanding An Immediate Recount On The Nobel Prize For Humanity.  Check Your SPAM Box.

Metrically-Speaking, Your 2 Meter Stick Is Exactly 200 Centimeters Shy Of Reality.

“… Must Be The App On The Smart Phone.  Or, Siri’s Fault.  Cyber Bitch.  Blame Someone, Please … Before You Take Any Responsibility And Your Super Power Vape Loses Its Cloaking Ability.”



“Ontario reported 441 additional cases of COVID-19 on Friday, a third straight day of increasing new daily cases after the province officially entered its first phase of reopening earlier this week.”

According to CBC News.  Canada’s National Public News Broadcaster.  A Federal Crown Corporation.

Answers Below To The Pop Quiz For The Powers-That-Occasionally-Be-All-The-Way-With-It:

“I Could’ve Told All Y’allesese So.  Let’s Talk Again In 10-14 Days.  In The Interim, Toronto Mayor John Tory Please Speak To Ontario Premier Doug Ford When The Prime Minister Of Canada, Justin Trudeau, Is In The Room.  Better Yet, Swipe Me In To Your Conference Call, Or Let’s Zoom It.  Meeting Code Is #Get-Fucking-Real-This-Shit-Isn’t-Impossible-To-Figure-Out.  I’ve Got An Opening On Monday At 10:30 AM.”  



With Flattening The Curve

While Sipping An uber-Delivered Ginger & Tapioca Bubble Tea.  Pandemic-Priced @ $19.  Jumbo-Sized.

You Paid For Scamming Using CERB Credit:

“The Canada Emergency Response Benefit (CERB) gives financial support to employed and self-employed Canadians who are directly affected by COVID-19.  If you are eligible, you can receive $2,000 for a 4-week period (the same as $500 a week).”



It’s More Passive-Aggressive Loathing Of Your Selfish, Ignorant Kind … I Don’t Understand You … 

Being A Dumb-Ass Is As Infectious As The ‘Rona Bug.  Because This Was Never About You Or Them.  This Party Is About All Of Us.  Together, Sort Of.  Figuratively, Which Is Not The Same As Literally.  Again – Six Feet – Is The Difference.

Listen To The Immortal Words Of Mr. Gump, Marshall & Ashley:

“What’s My Destiny, Mama … Stupid Is As Stupid Does.”



“You’re Not All Ass-Rockets … Here’s A Virtual Hug And A Virtual Mwah, Mwah … Baci, Bella e Bello.”

Yep, Though.  Your Generation And Part Of My Tribe Of Infidelic Pariahs Will Be Straddled With Incalculable Debt – Future Stifling Taxes – And Only WHO Knows When The Next Pandemic Will Hit … 

Paying The Global Debt To Clean Up This Catafuckic Shitstorm And To Reboot The Make Believe Economy.  Think Of It As A Paid Dress Rehearsal For The Big Gala Of Armageddon.  Another Black Ops.  False Flag.  Dress Code In Effect.

And, If You’re “Voting For Change” Next Election Day … Vote “Change Yourself” … Start With An Adult Pull-Up If You Can’t Decide On What To Wear.  Also, Pencil In You / Not Ewe As A Candidate.  The Herd Will Thank You … Once The Purple Haze Lifts.

Love, Peace & Blessings



21 thoughts on “My Loving Valentine To Ugly Torontonians

  1. markbierman

    After years of working in an industry that deals with deliquents, I’m not surprised by this self-serving behavior. Unfortunately there will always be those who ruin it for everyone else. Thanks for posting what, I’m sure, many of us are thinking.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Jim Borden

    I’ll see you on Zoom at 10:30, assuming that code you sent out is a valid one.

    We’re all anxious to return to some form of normal, but I agree that we need to be smart about it…

    Liked by 1 person

    • Michael A. Kuch

      It’s irresponsible on so many levels, not the least of which was the non-response and cavalier deflection … the only relief is a selfish one (on my part) in finally being justified in my assertion that Toronto is the Universal Epicentre of Practicing Assholes.


  3. Sovely Matters

    Oh no! Selfish bastards. People like that leave me speechless.
    Belonging to the people who are at risk of getting seriously sick from COVID-19, I only leave the house when I have to. I really wonder how ignorant you have to be to continue daily life just like nothing ever happend. Great pills they all are taking to blend out reality.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Michael A. Kuch

      A real scar on the face of the city during this crisis … and shame on the mayor … and law enforcement for not properly addressing this situation as it unfolded. Many opportunities to do the right thing lost here. The outcome may be tragic with more spreading and infected, which certainly, could have been avoided.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Michael A. Kuch

      As it turns out, the situation was even more woeful as reports came that many of the park dwellers were spotted urinating and defecating in public. So disappointing to me as I was born very close to this park and my brother actually lives on the street overlooking it for many years afterward … thank you, Sovely for for comments

      Liked by 1 person

  4. SnapDragon X.

    Unsurprisingly, Dullard, Chowderhead and Dingleberry Insolence Are Yet To Be Proven Elements In Developing The Vaccine Needed To Combat The Spread Of Coronavirus.

    This is being tattooed on my other arm. 👏🏻🙈😂

    Liked by 1 person

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