For The Love Of Taxes …

MY AWESOME SAUCE ACCOUNTANT

Completed My 2019 Tax Return Yesterday …  

Its An Annual Saturday Afternoon pil-Grim-age Typically Held Before The End Of April At His Home Office, Nestled In An Upscale Suburban Neighborhood Littered With Backyard Pools, Lovely Landscaping And A Minimum Of Two German Luxury Vehicles Parked In Four-Car Driveways.

“I Don’t Live In This Neighborhood, But I Occasionally Fantasize About Spending A Weekend There Hosting A Pool Party And Two-Night ‘Moët & Chandon’ Bubbly Bender In The Cabana When He’s Off On An Annual Family Vacation Across Europe.”

I Haven’t Seen Il Padrino Of Bean Counters In Two Years – Or Is It Three? – As I’m Represented By Legal Proxy In The Matter.  All Good, Cryptically-Speaking.  As In Mutual Convenience Makes For Happiness Perpetuated.

 

SAVING MYSELF 2 HOURS

Was Smartly Re-Invested In Playing With My Furry Dependents – Raffi And Buffy – Of The Puppy & Kitten Show … And, A Few Other Highly Desirable Activities:

“Chilling With Uno & Dewey – Kuched Sons Of Anarchy No. 1 And No. 2 – aka: The Inheritors Of ‘Meh, That’s All You’re Leaving Us, Dad?'”

Shopping For Groceries And Toiletries.  Warming Up Netflix – Medici – Two Episodes Of Season One Last Night.  Carb Loading On Beige Nosh-able Treats.

And, Most Brilliantly – To My Nearly Martyred Creative Relief – Finally, Scribbling The First 1,000 Words To The Opening Chapter Of “In The Shitter” (Copyright © 2020 by Michael A. Kuch).

 

THIS YEAR

The Canada Revenue Agency Extended The Deadline For Federal Tax Filing Until June 1, 2020.

Cool.  Thanks For The Extendo-A-Go-Go.  Appreciate It.

“I’m A Rare Doofus Who Actually Enjoys Filing His Taxes.  Right.  It Wasn’t Always That Way.”

Because Audits Have A Way Of Changing Mindsets Rather Quickly.  Adjusting Attitudes.  Heavy Fines Are Not As Much Fun As Romanticized About In Hollywood Or CNN Or TMZ.

 

AS A LOVINGLY REFORMED PASSIVE TAX ANARCHIST

Wait For It, My Darlings …  

I’m Good With Paying My Fair Share.  Take Whatever All Y’alleses Need Based On My Earnings.  Leave Me Enough To Get By To Do The Six Things I Enjoy Doing In This Blessed Life.

“I Remain A Trifle Confused Though.  Not Clueless.  Perhaps, It’s Just Curiosity …” 

Why The Overtaxing Up Front?  Twelve Consecutive Months Of Moderately Weighty Taxes … Just To Even The Tally At Year’s End, Err, The Following Spring?

 

ISN’T THERE A BETTER WAY?

Don’t Get Me Wrong … 

I Love Playing With Numbers.  Fidgeting With Decimals.  Getting Giggity … Going Gaga.

“I Toyed Around With An Abacus In Pre-School.  Lead-Painted In Fire Engine Red.  Pretty Much The Model Used During The Medici Renaissance Of Money Usury.”

A Couple Years After Counting With My Baby Toes.  Keep It Simple, Sweetheart.  Signed With All My Love From A Happy Tax-Abiding Apologist.

 

Image by Dimitris Vetsikas from Pixabay