The Barber Of Booyaka


I Decided To Treat My Pretty Man Melon To A Self-Curated Haircut … Because, It’s Always A Good Time For A Bad Idea To Go Horribly Wrong … 

Now, This Isn’t The First Time My Inflated Curiosity Usurped Lowbrow Common Sense And Made A Quilted Keepsake Fuckery Of The Fresh World Order.

“Of Course, It’s Exactly What Happened When I Was Left Unattended For 48 Hours On Weekend Iso-Lockdown / Exile On Vain Street.  With A Bullish Mirror Poking Fun At Me To Boot.  What’s This Dickhead’s Problem, Anyway?”  

Toting Fully-Charged Manscaping Clippers Dialed In To Regret Setting.  And, A Twitchy Left Hand (I’m No South Paw, Mickey).



Off The Sides … To Limber Up … Limbo Down.  

Leave The Lettuce On Top.  Just As I Found It.  Hair Salad, Baby.  Money.  What I’d Promised Myself. 

Then Good Intentions Swirled Down The Crapper With Every Bold New Move.  Buzzing My Groove To The Stones “Tumbling Dice” … 

“… As I Ventured Around The Party Side To Negate The Emergence Of A Kentucky Waterfall About To Sprout … Down The Nape Of A Long Enough Neck … Didn’t Know Where To Stop Once I Got My Buzz Buzzing.  I Won’t Lie.  It Felt Kind Of Slinky, Kinky … Twitching Deep Down The Goody Trail … Skinnamarinky Do, Darling.  Right There … And, A Little Creepy.  In A Pleasant Creepy Way.  Tipped Myself A Sawbuck, Winked Out And Called It A Day …”

Photo by Lalesh Aldarwish from Pexels

“Tumbling Dice” (“Exile On Main St.” 1972)  Songwriters: Keith Richards, Mick Jagger
© Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

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