Never Been To Spain


I’ve Planned A Trip To The Iberian Peninsula  … Some Pesky, Inconvenient Situation Conspired Against My Pretty Toes Slipping Into Avarcas Sandals.

“We Won’t Talk About The Legal Shitstorm – Corporate Dissolution Fiasco Of 2009 – Derailing My Plans To Journey Back To The Homeland … Being A Combined 1.1% Of Iberian And North African Descent … Kinda Entitles Me.” 

Happy Life Tip:  Try To Avoid Business Partnerships With Fraudulent, Lying Man Whores With Dark Souls … And, Remember, If You Can’t, It’s Best Not To Crack Heads When Negotiating A Settlement With Thieving SOB’s.  Better Now.

Love Happens.  Just Not On That Day.  Forgiveness Did.



This Close in 2012 – My Pointy Blame Finger & Thumb Are Almost Touching (Visuals Help) – That One’s On Me.

Early Millennium, Some Other Crap Came Up.  I Can’t Remember.  But Still.

Auténtico, Si?

And, Last Year.  Meh.  Bad Timing.



I’m Going … 

I’ve Dreamed/Dreamt Of Going To Spain It Seems For A Long Time.  About As Far Back As I Remember Listening To The Lyrics Of Never Been To Spain.

Elvis Recorded It.  Three Dog Night.  Just About Everyone from Tina Turner to Cher to Waylon Jennings.  

… I Suppose It’s A Karaoke-Friendly Ditty Once Properly Sauced Up On Sangria Or Cerveza.



I’ve Never Worn Avarcas.  Or, Capris.  Spandex Anything.

“Maybe, Just The Once.  Please, Don’t Bother Googling: ‘Kuch-Drunk-AF-Nude-WTF-Really?-Bangkok-Prison’.  I’m Not Paying Ransom This Time, Or For Breaking The Internet, Again.  Also, I Have Seven Known Doppelgängers Roaming-At-Large.”

I’ll Cop To Sporting A Shiny Slim Speedo – We’ve Been Through This Before: Youth Swim Team, Okay? – Coincidentally, About The Time Never Been To Spain First Charted.

… Don’t Cha Just Love The Sweet Justice Of The Universe And How It Connects All Lose Ends In Lycra?



“Well I never been to Spain
But I kinda like the music
Say the ladies are insane there
And they sure know how to use it
They don’t abuse it, never gonna lose it
I can’t refuse it”

Songwriters: Hoyt Axton
© Universal Music Publishing Group

Image by Kookay from Pixabay

18 thoughts on “Never Been To Spain

  1. charlypriest

    Never been to Spain? A.K.A the land of the wild bulls….that was a long a.k.a.
    Hoyt Axton is right, ladies are insanely horny, pretty much like me that I am Spanish and live here. But I´m keeping it under control, after the psychologist basically kicked me out because I was flirting too much with her I decided maybe just maybe take it down a notch or two. But didn’t work to tell you the truth. Not my fault, in my defense she was to hot to be a psychologist, couldn’t focus on what she was saying to me just focus on her… anyways, you are committing a high crime against humanity for not visiting Spain, and by the way since the country is basically broke just spend all your fortune here so we can re distribute the wealth, people wanted the socialist so here we go, all broke. Just start sending $ her and there when you come. Plus the ladies will love it also, I might even get something out of it… 😉
    Kind of weird to wink at a guy
    Take care Mr. Kuck your writing is surely original.


    • JustBeingMe

      I’ve not been to either of those places but I have been to quite a lot of places in between. 🙂 There is a pretty city called Cartagena quite near to Almeria that I’d love to visit again. My favourite places are closer to Alicante though. I love Les Fonts de l’Algar and the town called Altea. There’s also a gorgeous place called Guadalest that has a blue/green lake. I’m sure there are many lovely places near Barcelona too though. Both of my kids have been there and enjoyed it. 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Writer of words

    I’ve never been to Spain either. Been to Portugal though, Lisbon. Went with a flight crew. Plane got taken apart and put back together on some maintenance thing while we laid over. I was by myself while everyone went as a couple. But I needed the space and time to heal my head and spirit and Lisbon is a gorgeous, old town. No regrets. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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