IF I MOVED ANY SLOWER THIS WEEK
I’d Identify As A Sea Turtle …
I’m Not Crazy About Reptiles.
“Except Big Tortoises …”
… They’re Cool. Sage-like. Not Much Rattles Their Shell, Save For The Insatiable Curiosity Of Great White Sharks.
I CAN’T GET MY SKINNY ASS IN GEAR
Let Alone Out Of First …
“Except At The Gym …”
Where I’ve Elevated My Pelotonian Fix Into 30 Minutes Of Spinning Wizardry …
… Endorphins Are Known To Cause Temporary Delusion … When Mirrors Fail To Do Their Prime Function Of Reporting Back Uncensored Reality To The Goof Gawking At The Reflection.
FUN FACT CONFESSION
I’m Wholly Committed To Working Out Sans Spandex Biker Shorts …
A Good Thing, Right?
“The Thought Haunts Me To The Cusp Of Mortification, And Creeps Up On Me Like The Gigantic Testundines Sprinting In The Pic Above …”
Should I Ever Succumb To The Lure Of Going Full Lululemon Dude, Please Put Me Down. Quickly … No Mercy. Heavy Tranquilizer.
TAUPETOPIA
It’s Not Apathy …
I’m In Chippier-Than-Thou Spirits.
“Okay, Maybe Not Every Moment At The Office …”
Where It’s Been Monday Meh Served Five-Days-A-Week. Like We’re Raising Groundhogs. Otherwise, I’ve Been Happy As A Swine In Feces.
SLO-MO · MO-JO · FO-SHO
So, What’s Got Me In A Turtle Funk?
“When All I Want To Do Is Dance …”
And, Shake A Long Tail Feather.
… To My Spotify Daily Dance Mix?
Image by David Mark from Pixabay
As much I’m also against the Spandex thing, I’d do that before you catch me dancing!
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So, no dancing 🕺 in Spandex biker shorts 🤠
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The gym might help the skinny ass 🤔
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Squats have cured my former skinny ass 😎🙏
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🥳😛
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Staying active is a must and cannot be done, if not inspired. You are no tortoise! Enjoy your coffee today!
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Grazie ☕️
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Spandex…lol 😛
In Italy back in the day all men wore speedos at the beach. All ages and body types. It was standard. I didn’t notice it as odd or different until after I moved to North America. Rarely do I see tiny speedos on men today (with one age group the exception on occasion) 🙂
Anyway, spandex or no spandex – the point is the workout. 😂
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Please don’t get me started on Speedos. I had one when I joined a swim team in my early teens. I’m still in therapy. 😳
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That is one of few exceptions when speedos are acceptable.
Also, lol. 😉
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But, still … 😎
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😂😂😂💕I needed the laugh. Thanks, Michael you’re awesome. I don’t even care if you decide on ever wearing them biker shorts. I’m sure you’ll look great. I got a pair. 😂
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I think I opened a can of worms with the Spandex / Biker shorts reference … maybe I’ll put it to a vote. Baby steps … I’ll start with Lululemon Capri’s and start raising the hem every week until I get there. Glad you had a good laugh, Emma 😎🙏
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“I’m Wholly Committed To Working Out Sans Spandex Biker Shorts” – Is there a replacement for said biker shorts?
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Would a Unitard be out of the question?
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Ooh, that would be perfect!
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🙏
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