I LOVE CLEVER CLICK BAIT
Of Which Exactly None Are Known To Exist … On The World Wide Web …
While Writing Another Post Yesterday, I Moseyed Across A Digital Ad From BLUE Cat Food
Then Tapped On The Green Icon:
“Will 2020 Be Your Cat’s Healthiest Year?”
SOMETHING ABOUT BUFFY
Legally, I Share In One-Quarter Ownership Of My Cat, “Buffy Midnight” … With Unrestricted Visitation Rights … And, All The Privileges And Rights Associated With Financially Supporting Her Through Feline Adolescence, Into Early Adulthood And Beyond.
Buffy’s A Stunning Tabby – Breathtaking, Really … In A Cleopatra Meets Angelina Jolie Meets Catherine Deneuve Kind Of Way (It’s Not Weird) – With Gray & Light Brown Markings And White Tummy And Mittens. So, Cute As Hell. Did I Mention Her Impossibly Beautiful Green Eyes? Or Not Quite Pinkish Nose?
She Was Born In A Barn, And I Suppose, Considered A Former Rescue Kitten. We Haven’t Had This Conversation Yet. I Promised I Would And Now 4 Years On, It’s Time She Learns About Her True Provenance … And, What It Costs Me To Maintain Her Fabulous Lifestyle.
“Buffy’s Been Tested For Allergies And Is Sensitive To Many Foods … Restricted To A Special Diet By Her Veterinarian … ‘Scientific’ Cat Food That Is Ridiculously Expensive … And, The Prime Reason I’m Not Driving A Porsche; However, As Fate May Have It, The Good Doctor Is Nicely Situated In A Kuchedesque 911 Turbo S …”
SO, I CLICKED ON THE LITTLE GREEN TAB
And, Followed The Prompts …
Answered A Few Vital Questions About Buffy’s Age, Gender, Dietary Restrictions …
Then It Got Personal: Her Favorite Toy, Places She Likes To Hide, What Animal Species Does She Identify As (Buffy’s Non-Committal At Time Of Writing, But Leaning Toward Yeti), If She Sleeps The Recommended 22-1/2 Hours A Day … now, wait for it …
“If She Could Only Lick One Body Part 30 Times Every Minute, Which One Would She Choose And Why?”
OF COURSE IT IS …
The Survey Is Designed To Summarize The Perfect BLUE Brand Cat Food Formula For Your Cat …
Turns Out Buffy Is Best Suited To Nosh On BLUE Basics:
“Grain-Free Duck & Potato Recipe.”
Quack, Again?
I’VE ORDERED DUCK
Twice In My Life …
Once, On A Business Trip – Job Interview – To Los Angeles On The Suggestion Of The Waiter. (BTW, I Got The Job … Didn’t Want To Keep You Guessing … Company Went Into Receivership Few Years Later … Clearly, A Coincidence … And, Here I Am.)
And, About A Year Ago Because I’d Lapsed My Good Sense At A Fine Chinese Restaurant.
I Don’t Care For Duck. I Love Cats. Want A Porsche.
SO, WHAT’S IT GOING TO BE?
Life’s Occasionally About Making As Few Stupid Choices As Possible, Right?
And, Cliché Idioms: Like Having Your Cake And Eating It, Too.
So, I’ve Come To A Grand Conclusion – One Fair Enough To Both Buffy And Me – With A Small Compromise:
“Buffy Stays Blissfully Situated In The Lofty Lifestyle She’s Grown Accustomed To And Expects, Including Dining On Duck And Other Fowl Like Quail, Pheasant And Partridge … And, We’re Also Finally Getting A New Porsche – Model Toy Car – We Can Both Play With.”
Image by Capri23auto from Pixabay
I’m sure Buffy is most grateful for the choices you made…
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How I wonder things would have turned out, if you had gotten a real Porche? 😛
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So do I … thanks for reading and commenting 😊🙏
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Best for the both of you. Cleaver solution, resourceful too! Happy, Healthy and Saving…😊 Buffy is a Diva Princess for sure. Thanks for sharing.
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Thank you, Yonnie. Buffy’s a good girl 🐈
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She sure sounds like it.
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I wonder if the recommendation would still be duck and potato if she was an actual yeti…
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Which raises another curiosity … what if Yeti’s only eat Tabbies? Perhaps, this is a sticking point to Buffy’s apprehension. Another thing we need to discuss. 😎
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Very interesting question. 😉
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I’m pretty sure domesticated felines don’t subscribe to cannibalism … 😳
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Lol
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For a split second I thought you were getting a real Porsche! Have fun with the toy ☺️🚘
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Yeah, so did I … almost convinced myself 😎🙏
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😆
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