THE MIKE MOVEMENT
Perhaps, It’s Just A Silly Summer Fad, Phenomena, Really … Trending – #Mike – If You Haven’t Noticed …
I suppose the Em momentum will fade in the Fall. Maybe, not.
If the throngs of Mike Revisionists/Revolutionaries/Satirists don’t make this thing go viral.
… I Can Only Hope.
LATE SPOILER ALERT
In The Past Few Weeks, Precisely 3 (Or Possibly 4) Times Someone Has Called Me … Wait For It … Mike …
Actually, three asked permission. One didn’t:
“Mind If I Call You Mike?” “Do You Prefer Mike or Michael?” “Do You Like Being Called, Mike?” “Hey, Mike.”
“Yeah, No.” “Neither, All The Time.” “It’s My Name, Don’t Wear It Out.” “Who Are You?”
BORN MICHAEL, RAISED MIKE
Because No One Asked … The Last Time My Name Got So Much Attention …
I was in Court. I practised saying my name … In the mirror. During Happy Time, Right.
Either. Aye-thur. Ma-Hike.
… Just. Like. It. Sounds.
If You Know Me …
Easy to memorize.
… Easier To Forget.
If We’ve Never Met …
Whenever I fill out forms.
By Traffic Cops. Telemarketers. CRA.
… Whenever I Meet Other Guys Named Mike.
To Some … Mick Easy …
Whenever I refer myself in The 3rd Person … The Tao of Self-Deprecating …
Which is a little creepy and just weird. I need to stop this, Mick.
… Carl, Mostly.
MICHELE NOT MICHELE
mee-KEH-ley … like Ukulele … not mee-SHEL.
An Italian thing. Pisan. Capisce?
Like Mee-GAY. One friends calls me this. How he says it.
And, another, Mee-GAY-Lootz. Obviously, I need new friends.
ALWAYS A BEFORE E
According To Every Web Source …
Michael is the masculine proper noun originated in the ancient Hebrew question, מי כאל (mī kāʼēl:
“Who is like God?”
… So, I’ve Got That Going For Me.
MEE-sha … MEE-sha … MEE-sha …
Having My Jan Brady Flashback Moment.
And, also, from my Mikhail Days as a Bohemian Artster in the Way, Way Back.
… Never Mind. Ancient. History. Oversharing Is Caring.
… There You Go.
Whoever’s Sad Idea Of A Mean Practical Joke It Was To Create This Name?
Nice one, really. Very funny. Fine. Small mercy for being unknown.
… So Thankful Fame Eluded Me.
Mikey Works, Too.
Like those colorful M&M’s
… Anyone Will Do.
Photo by Caio Resende