Epiphany-Inspired Living: Now, Where’d My Groove Funk Off To?

MY PATH TO SPIRITUAL WELLNESS

Started With An Invitation To Self Awareness.

Kind of like a Eureka moment.

Only way bigger.

Life miraculously switched on.

Wide open.

I Can’t Sing, But If I Could

OH, BABY, YOU KNOW I WOULD …

Serenade You Like A Dreamy Crooner.

How I’d do it.

Ladies only, okay?

We don’t want a repeat of this lesson in Curious Confessions Of An Obviously Straight Man … 

But I can’t.

Hey, Rube

An excerpt from ‘The Last Meh of Chick Valentine’ – Copyright © 2017 by Michael Kuch

THE BREAKFAST CROWD AT THE KENSINGTON DELI

Thinned into a small queue waiting to pay their checks.

A quartet of dink-faced hipsters, freshly smug and failing reverence, postured around the front door, snot deep in their smart phones to notice Chick Valentine as he slipped past.

Meet The Boyko’s: Bo-ye!

A Modern Prehistoric Family.

My Kin, y’all.

Lovely people.

Hearty Prairie folks.

Salt-of-the-Earth, really.

Revered Ancestral Order of The Big Body Appendages And Other Unknowable Family Oddities.

My Sexual Orientation Needs No Explanation: Curious Confessions Of An Obviously Straight Man With Bigger Issues

IT’S NOT WHAT YOU’RE THINKING

What’re you Adorable Little Doubters thinking?

Let’s start with the facts – obvious, fabricated or otherwise – liberated for sensational effect, a requisite for scripting this gem of undeniable irrelevance.

It’s been bugging my ass – right, my puns are always intentional, off-mark and ill-executed – for almost 30 years.

Here’s how it goes …

Try This Cool Hack To Being A Better Person Today

YES, MONEY CAN BUY HAPPINESS

When You Commit To Financially Supporting A Charity Or A Cause Of Your Choice.

Right now.

I’ll wait.

My Passport Renewal Ordeal: A Plea of Clemency to Neuter Redundancy

NOTHING SIPHONS THE VIRILITY OF LIFE FROM ME

… Or chafes my undercarriage so excruciatingly raw, as the Soul-extracting ordeal of renewing government-issue ID.

Arguably, surpassed only by the irreverent Ontario Motor Vehicle Licensing Offices for grandiose ineptitude, time-whoring stalls, and their inimitable mantra of:

Swear To God … He’s Listening (When You’re Not)

WE TALK

Him and I.

Couple of Chatty Cathy’s yapping it up …

We are.

Why I Don’t Wear A Baseball Cap

HAVE YOU SEEN MY HEAD?

Its a magnificent melon – Melone magnifico – unlike any other.

Baseball caps – like facial hair, nipple piercing, and tattoos – may be affable accessories on some guys.